I came across a tweet the other day that really spoke to me as a man. You see, sometimes as men we can get confused about the numerous roles we should be playing in life. We wonder, "Should I be serious all the time? Is it okay to be soft with my wife? When can I let out my inner UFC? What type of leader should I be at work? Am I supposed to act like I have all the answers even when I don't?" This tweet by Erwin McManus helped clear this up for me:
Love like a Poet.
Live like a Warrior.
Learn like an Apprentice.
Lead like a Servant.
Laugh like a King.
In my next few blog posts, I'm going to share what the Word says about each of these. So today lets start with the first one:
Love like a Poet…
"Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee."
Song of Solomon 4:7
In this day and age, some boast about their ability to be a wordsmith with a mic. Sure, not all of us have that ability, but all men do have the ability to be a wordsmith with his wife. In fact, we should be. Loving like a poet is something we should purposely develop our skills in.
"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her..."
Some guys think that men should be 'hard' at all times…that they should never open up to anyone. While there is some wisdom in being guarded about whom you are truly open with, there is one person you should absolutely be open and 'soft' (yes I said soft) with, your wife. She should know your hopes, dreams, disappointments and hurts. You should share with her what some of us act like we don't have, your true emotions. Proverbs 31:11 says, "The heart of her husband safely trust in her", which means that she should have your heart; she should know your secrets. She should fully know you. Having this type of relationship with your wife doesn't make you soft it makes you whole. It also meets her need for conversation, honesty, and transparency. (Ladies, men are naturally more open in this way after sex - hint hint.)
Anyway, loving like a poet means doing a few things that will cause her to be deeply in love with you:
- Everyday, use your words to make her feel special. Make it a point to give her heartfelt praise. It can be about her beauty; it could be just expressing your appreciation for all she does or it can be something in-between. Do it everyday. This is the most important part of this post. (Even if you feel she is the worst wife in the world, there's something good you can compliment her about. Do it and you'll be surprised how she'll transform before your eyes.)
- Once a week, take her on a date. Go on a date with just the two of you. It doesn't have to be expensive. It can be as simple as getting ice cream together and just hanging out. The key is giving her your undivided attention. This is key to keeping the spark in your marriage.
- Once a month (or at least a quarter), plan a special date with her. This isn't just dinner and movie; this is something a bit more romantic. It may be taking her to a play, a dinner cruise, a fancy restaurant - whatever really floats her boat. This can be done on a small budget or a big one so don't let money stop you. Be Creative.
- Once a year, take a vacation just with you and your wife. It might just be three days. It might be in a hotel in your own town, but take this time to rest together and enjoy one another. Make this a priority. Budget for this vacation. The honeymoon shouldn't be a one-time event. There should be a re-mix every year.
What other thoughts do you have about Loving like a Poet?